What To Do With The Gift Of Life???

Choose Wisely Or Suffer...

An Excerpt from Edge of Eternity by Ken Follet

Even in a historical novel, Martin Luther King's speech is riveting:

He seemed to be drawing his words from a deep, cold well of suffering and pain, a well created by centuries of cruelty. Jasper realized that Negroes described their suffering in the words of the Old Testament prophets, and bore their pain with the consolation of Jesus' gospel of hope.

King's voice shook with the emotion as he said, "I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: we hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal."

"I have a dream that one day, on the red hills of Georgia, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood - I have a dream.

That one day even in the state of Mississippi - a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression - will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream."

He had hit a rhythm, and two hundred thousand people felt it sway their souls. It was more than a speech: it was a poem and a canticle and a prayer as deep as the grave. The heartbreaking phrase "I have a dream" came like an amen at the end of each ringing sentence.

"...That my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character - I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in Alabama, little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers - I have a dream today.

With this faith, we will be able to hew, out of the mountain of despair, a stone of hope.

With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of one nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.

With this faith, we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day."

Looking around, Jasper saw that black and white faces alike were running with tears. Even he felt moved, and he had thought himself immune to this kind of thing.

"And when this happens; when we allow freedom to ring; when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city; we will be able to speed up that day when all God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants an Catholics, will be able to join hands..."

Here he slowed down, and the crowd was almost silent. King's voice trembled with the earthquake force of his passion. "...and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual: free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!"

He stepped back from the microphone. The crowd gave a roar such as Jasper has never heard. They rose to their feet in a surge of rapturous hope. The applause rolled on, seeming as endless as the ocean waves.

...Jasper felt as if he had come through a storm, or a battle, or a love affair: he was spent but jubilant.

It's Been Awhile...
If only Staind could see me now. I'm singing their tune and sound terrible...

It's been more than two and a half years since my last entry.

Life has changed a lot since then, yet it has remained much the same. I'm still not satisfied with my existence. I feel I can be so much more and contribute more than I have done. At the same time, I have come to accept that one person cannot really do that much to change this world we live in.

Still have the same job. Still live in the same apartment. No longer have a room-mate though. Had a serious relationship. It end in January last year. But it took me more than one year to come to terms with it ending.

I used to make fun of guys who used to be hung up over a woman, until I was the guy that was hung up over a woman! Man, did I have to eat crow about that!

Still struggling to be happy with myself. But I'm hoping that I have finally turned a corner and will be gentler with myself.

I have always found peace in writing and maybe that's one of the reasons I'm writing again in this journal. It clarifies my thinking and helps me to focus on the important things.

The Swift End...
So the relationship ended before it began...

What? How? Beats me too...

We're in my bed Saturday morning at 3 A.M. There's a widespread power outage, the raining is falling, good music is playing on my netbook and I have her in my arms. Yay for me, right?

Then she goes home just after daybreak...and doesn't want to see me again. Prefers to clean her apartment that got flooded by all the rain that fell this weekend than spend time with me. Won't even answer my texts. What the hell did I do???

Oh joy...trying to understand the way women think. It better just not to try...which is what I will do!

In other news, working out at the gym is paying dividends. I can bench press and squat 135lbs, leg press 450lbs and military press (shoulders) 80lbs (2 40lb dumbbells). I've also lost about 7lbs over the last two weeks and I'm hoping to find bust the my 230lb curse soon!!!

The Three-Day Weekend
Lost my phone on Friday after when I left it behind at the ATM machine. When I realized a few minutes later and went back to get it, someone had already picked it up.

Went to the phone company office to get back my number and a new SIM. Spent an hour in line before I was told I needed proof of address before I could get the SIM.

Had to go back Saturday morning for it. Bought a new phone - a pink Motorola. Very macho, I am!

Fuck Meera! Called Friday morning, interested in going out and then never calling last night to let me know what time to pick her up. What is it with women? If you're not interested, say so. Don't toy with men...like you toy with food.

Watched Drive on Saturday night with Ryan Gosling. A modern day cowboy movie...instead of a horse, you have a car...

Finally got around to doing some house-cleaning. Yay for me! Swept my bed-room and cleaned the kitchen.

Didn't do much else other than keep shooting myself in the foot. Went running in the morning yesterday. Did 3 laps at the National Park...about 3 3/4 miles, then went yesterday afternoon for a fast food meal of fried chicken, French fries and soda.

Poor choices doom us all...

A Blue Moon Event!
The world is coming to an end. Well, not really. But strange things are happening.

Today was Noel's birthday. He is one of my co-workers, and is the cheapest guy I have ever met. I think he would put Scrooge to shame.

Why do I say that? Let me just give an example - Noel got engaged last Friday and during the planning phase, he wanted to know how many glasses of non-alcoholic bubbly was in a bottle so that he could be precise in how many bottles he purchased for his engagement party.

He also preferred to host the party in a restaurant rather than at his house because he was of the opinion that all of his family would have shown up and he would have ended up spending more money.

When I started working at the Ministry and met Noel (and did not know his character), I took him to lunch at a couple of nice places because at the time, we were the only two persons in the department and I wanted to make a good impression. In return for my generosity, Noel got me an egg ball and cane juice at a stand at the head of Ogle Airport Road.

I learned quickly and have since kept my distance.

That's why I was shocked today when Noel bought the office ice cream and cake in celebration of his birthday. I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes...and ate the ice cream and cake too!!!

UPDATE: I was right! It was not Noel who bought the ice cream and cake. It was bought by the Ministry. I knew it was out of character for him so I just called and confirmed with the office manager. It was she who did it!!!

We can all relax. The world makes sense again.Phew!

The Joy of an Energy Rush!
I really enjoyed yesterday afternoon and the energy rush that I had. I went to the gym (did chest work), did my grocery shopping, made dinner and did some DVD work, got some sleep, gotten up at 02:15hrs this morning to set a TV show episode to download and then got up again at 06:00hrs this morning to complete what I started last evening.

And I did not have to struggle to get up! Oh yeah!

Changing Things Around...
After failing to get up yesterday morning to go to the gym, I changed things around and went to the gym yesterday afternoon/evening and had an awesome workout of my shoulders and biceps.

I also changed my alarm clock wake-up time from 4:30hrs in the morning to 6:00hrs. I'll be hitting the gym this afternoon again to hit my chest.

However, yesterday was another dull, boring workday otherwise. I didn't do anything.

I did get about $11,000 of work from Nadia to get her the last season of Smallville and all the episodes of Angel and Ghost Whisperer.

When I got home from the gym, I made burgers with beef patties, cheese, eggs and sausages. Not good, I know.

Later, I had a tennis roll with peanut butter and some Milo.

In between, my room-mate, Trevor, got us snookered by an operator who claimed he could help us out in short-cutting the system. That just pissed me off.

I also ended up watching "Catch Me if You Can" with Tom Hanks and Leonardo DiCaprio, then went to bed around 11:30hrs last night.

My energy levels are bothering me. Like me not being able to get up in the mornings and being tired when I got home from the gym last night or work the day before. Not sure what the problem is as yet...but I will figure it out!

The New Year's Here!
So 2012 has started and I have gotten off to a decent start. Did not go out to party last night. Slept, I did, and got up this morning at the ring of my alarm clock and turned on the light in my bedroom to keep me from going back to sleep.

Did push-ups, abs and then walked all the way to the National Park, through New Year's Eve revelers, and ran a couple of laps (the equivalent of 2.5 miles) and then walked all the way back to my apartment.

The distance I walked to and from the National Park was greater than the distance I ran!

Then I slept away my morning, getting up until around 11:00hrs.

Had a glass of milk, three eggs sunny side up and a large slice of cherry cake (compliments of my neighbours) rather than toast. Then washed that down with a couple of cups of back tea.

Now I have some chores to get done...

But before I get to that, I want to get some thoughts I had this morning down.

When I was passing revelers on Sheriff Street, I couldn't help comparing myself to them, telling myself that I was better than them for forsaking a night of partying to get up early to exercise. However, in my heart, I was envious, wishing to be like them.

It made me feel horrible. Why was I not appreciative of the good life that I have? Why???

I have to stop comparing and contrasting myself with other people and learn to live my life on my own terms, regardless of everyone else. I am a good person and I have a good life.

Got it? Good!

The Last Day
For the last day of the year, I didn't do much. I completed and delivered some DVDs. Grabbed a double beef burger and a Coke for lunch at City Mall. Bought groceries at Survival supermarket on Sheriff Street and napped away my afternoon.

Not very interesting...the story of my life...

Time to make things more interesting in the New Year!!!

The Same Things...
I guess human beings are all about their habits. I started planning what I want to do next year and several of the things I have been promising myself to do every year repeated themselves in next year's list.

Included in the list is my desire to lose weight, save money, complete my ACCA examinations and travel.

I guess the reason that these items keep repeating is because I have not been able to accomplish them before. So here we are again...

But I do want to be here next year repeating them again!!! That is the important thing. I want them DONE!

However, there are some things I plan to do differently next year.

I'm starting piano classes on January 9 and I intend to get a tattoo.

Not monumental changes, I know! But they are changes nonetheless.

I'll also be getting a heavy punching bag and a table tennis table, along with a keyboard to practise for my piano classes.


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